you can have it your way

i don't blog as much as i'd like to.
i guess i just forget, or don't take the time to.

well here goes..
right when i figured out what i wanted, i completely lost interest.
i am still somewhat interested, but at the same time, i've become happy with the way things have been going.
i don't know how it happened.
or why for that matter.
but i am very glad it did.

each day that passes is just another chapter to my life long story.
there have definetly been some ups, and some downs.
lately things have just kind of fallen into place.
and i am starting to just accept things for what they are.
sometimes there is no changing a situation, you just have to let someone else take the reign and hope it goes well.

i have no idea what is going to happen in the next two months.
i am extremely anxious and completely nervous however.
i have been wanting something new and exciting, but when i sit back, i feel like each day brings me something new and exciting.

i don't know what i want to do anymore.
i really don't.
which is really frustating for me.

11:34 am

My heart beats in slow songs, pumping moments through my veins.
Waking up in empty beds, walk through months of bad mistakes.
Give me back the life I had.
I really had nothing.
Nothing's better than a city full of lies that push through me.
I'm a burning building, you're a loveless friend.
Now I watch the clock. Now I walk on knives. O
n knives... I find problems I'm a fucked up kid.
I've got problems, I'm alone again.
I find problems I'm a fucked up kid.
I've got problems, I'm alone again...



i cannot even begin to describe how fucking accurate this song is.
cannot.

this weekend was much needed.