you can have it your way

i don't blog as much as i'd like to.
i guess i just forget, or don't take the time to.

well here goes..
right when i figured out what i wanted, i completely lost interest.
i am still somewhat interested, but at the same time, i've become happy with the way things have been going.
i don't know how it happened.
or why for that matter.
but i am very glad it did.

each day that passes is just another chapter to my life long story.
there have definetly been some ups, and some downs.
lately things have just kind of fallen into place.
and i am starting to just accept things for what they are.
sometimes there is no changing a situation, you just have to let someone else take the reign and hope it goes well.

i have no idea what is going to happen in the next two months.
i am extremely anxious and completely nervous however.
i have been wanting something new and exciting, but when i sit back, i feel like each day brings me something new and exciting.

i don't know what i want to do anymore.
i really don't.
which is really frustating for me.

11:34 am

My heart beats in slow songs, pumping moments through my veins.
Waking up in empty beds, walk through months of bad mistakes.
Give me back the life I had.
I really had nothing.
Nothing's better than a city full of lies that push through me.
I'm a burning building, you're a loveless friend.
Now I watch the clock. Now I walk on knives. O
n knives... I find problems I'm a fucked up kid.
I've got problems, I'm alone again.
I find problems I'm a fucked up kid.
I've got problems, I'm alone again...



i cannot even begin to describe how fucking accurate this song is.
cannot.

this weekend was much needed.

once again

i'm left with a thousand and one questions.
should have seen the signs, should have listened.
but how can you disregard what your heart tells you?
it was only a matter of time.
who was i fooling? apparently no one, not even myself.
i just things would have been different all around.
it's always the same.
but i won't make another mistake, i can promise that.
there is no way i can let anyone in again.
no way.
it's exhausting and i feel drained once again.
you are all the same.

same ol' same ol'

this weekend was very uneventful.

friday was the 'this is hell' show in bloomington.
good time, good music.
it was nice to see some people i hadn't seen in a while.

i was very excited about saturday, until plans fell through.
we were all supposed to go to south bend for punish fuck and sow to play.
apparently there was a crazy storm, so they cancelled.
we ended up eating pizza in fountain square.
was actually really good.
then went back to the 1511 for some fun amd drinks.

sunday was extremely boring.
went to my families house for dinner, like always.

i am hoping tonight turns out to be alot more fun than i am anticipating it to be.
i suppose we will see.

just another...

one to be fooled.
i guess it had to happen eventually?
sometimes i don't know why i still even try.
it seems to be all a waste.

i give up.

snow

is ruining my life.
10-12 inches whaaat?!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EikujS53hvg
watch it.